Tuesday, July 20, 2010

A few small pity parties

I am still doing good. I am very busy with work, which is what I need right now. They moved my office while I was off (this is a good thing) and now Brook and I share an office (no doctors, just midlevels) so we have been decorating. Monday I brought in family pictures, including 2 of my favorite pics of My Molly. I have the one from the blog and another that is so sweet with a big bow. Today, two different people were in my office and started asking about the beautiful little girl. I held it together pretty well until I was walking to my car. The tears just started, for some stupid reason I just realized that I won't have a 2nd birthday to celebrate with my little girl. I felt so cheated and so wanted to go home, and open the door to find a beautiful, healthy little girl with blond curls running and laughing. That was never meant to be, which is still so hard to accept at time. This past year has been so hard, it just does not seem real some days. I know that God has a wonderful plan, and I am so thankful for all the amazing relationships that we have made, but I still long for that little girl that was never meant to be. I am sure that I always will, especially at holidays and birthdays. This is OK and life goes on. I am so glad that we have an amazing God and that I have hope for the future. I can still see all the beauty that is around us.
Pity Party over for the day. Onward, for I have another amazing child that I have to be strong for and an husband that I love.
Thank you all for the continued prayer, It is, as always, our Lord's strength that keeps us going.

1 comment:

  1. Pity parties, acknowleding the pain and disappointment, are necessary to your healing. Yes, you will move forward and find a new normal. I continue to pray for your strength and for your healing as you grieve.