It was a long day. We had plenty of time to get ready and I continue to open drawers, I continue to find wonderful reminders of my sweet little girl. I pulled down a bin and there were her winter hats. Pink and white. She was so beautiful in them. I open my purse to look for my keys and there is one of her hair bows that I had kept for emergency cuteness when we were out. My arms are so empty, but I am also strangly at peace. I know that she can see me and I feel her. She is perfect, and she is no longer hurting. How wonderful are all the things that she see now?
I held her so much of the time, wishing that see could see how beautiful the flowers were in my garden. How amazing the hummingbirds and butterflies were. Today, I realized that she has to be looking down and saying, "mother this garden is so much better than yours! Up here is so much more glorious than the world that you are in!" She is right, no matter how wonderful I think some of the flowers, plants and animals are here, they are so much better there!
I was amazed at how many friends were at the service. Thank you all for coming. It was increadible to see how many lives this little one touched in just a year. I hope that this next year that I will touch as many lives. I don't have any reason not to do more. To live each day to its fullest. To remember her each day and rejoice in how strong she was.
I wore a great pink suit to the service today with animal print shoes. I had a traditional black suit, but yesterday I realized that she deserved more. I wanted to honor her memory with what reminded me of her most. The color that I loved her most in and the animal print that I had decorated her room it. It will always make me think of her. On of my friends told me that I was so strong today, but she was wrong. I have been given grace from God to continue on. He has given me comfort and peace. He continues to provide. I know that it will be harder in 2 or 3 weeks, when the house is still and when I am out seeing other mothers with their healthy, happy children. For now though, I am staying busy. Planning some weekend trips. Loving my husband and son. And most of all, praying!
So many friends have asked us what they can do. We have plenty of food for now, but in a month or two bring us a meal. Pray for our strength. Pray for our son. Pray for our parents! I think that they hurt even more than Kelly and I for not only do they miss Molly, but they also hurt for their children. Pray for our health. Pray that both grandmothers stay cancer free. Pray that Molly's life continues to touch others. Pray that we are blessed with another little girl. Pray that we hear God's plan and follow willingly. Thank you all so much.